It was 2019. I didn’t plan to open a yoga studio.

In fact, I had just come through one of the hardest seasons of my life. I had poured my heart and soul into building a future I’d always imagined. Life felt beautiful, exciting, and full of promise.

But when that life—one I’d dreamed about since I was young—was ripped away in an instant, something unexpected happened. Beyond the heartbreak, I returned to a life I thought I had outgrown… and it was dark. Really dark.

Yet it was in that darkness, when I felt completely undone, that my soul whispered—well, actually, it yelled—and pulled me back into the light.

Founder of AKTIVATE Yoga & Wellbeing Lilydale, Tonia

For months, I’d been building an identity around what I thought was my dream life.

I had the incredible, kind, and funny partner (who I met just weeks after finishing my Yoga Teacher Training), a beautiful connection with his family (his mum adored me—which always helps!), and was stepping into the role of a Bonus Mum to his two children and us having one of our own. We were making plans for me to move to the Gold Coast to be with them, and I felt like I was finally walking into my next chapter: motherhood, partnership, purpose.

Life was everything I had imagined.

But in a blink, that version of my life—and of me—dissolved.

I wasn’t just grieving a relationship. I was grieving an identity. That identity had become a measure of my worth, lovability, safety, and sense of belonging. When it vanished, I felt numb… lost… like a hollow version of myself staring into a void.

I had experienced depression before, and although I was a Reiki facilitator and yogi, I knew this was something I couldn’t navigate alone. I took myself to the GP to get a Mental Health Care Plan.

It had taken me a few tries in the past to find the right therapist, so I knew the importance of finding someone I could genuinely connect with. My psychologist was nearly an hour away, but I felt safe with her—and that made all the difference. That’s when I began to see little flickers of light breaking through.

What I Now Know

Looking back, I now understand what I was experiencing was a Dark night of the soul.

It wasn’t just a break-up. It was a complete unraveling of everything I thought made me me —my stories, roles, beliefs, and attachments. It left me asking, “Who am I now?”

The thing about the Dark Night of the Soul (I’ve had another one since—but I’ll save that story for another blog!) it also provides an opportunity of rebirth. When the identity crumbles, it creates space for a deeper truth and a more aligned version of yourself to emerge.

The Message That Dropped In

As the flickers of light grew stronger, I began to reconnect with myself—through rest, Reiki healing, nature walks and especially through meditation.

I was eating again. Sleeping through the night. Craving movement and wanting to return to my yoga practice.

Before what was supposed to be the move to the Sunshine State, I had moved back to my parents' house in the Yarra Valley “for a couple of months” and was working in a job that was… fine, but completely unfulfilling.

And when you’re rebirthing out of a dark night, alignment is what you seek. So I started searching for three things that I knew were soul aligned:

A space to run Chakradance classes
A treatment room to offer Reiki
A new yoga studio to practice in

Can you see where this was going? Because I couldn’t.

There was one night, I sat in meditation and asked something along the lines of:

“Please show me the people, resources, or opportunities that will align me with my highest will and good.”

And the response came instantly, clearly, without hesitation:

“You need to open a yoga studio in Lilydale.”

I asked again for clarification. But I didn’t need to.

Deep down… I knew.

The Gateway to the Yarra Valley, Lillydale Lake.

Trusting the Nudges

There was nothing logical about that guidance.

On paper, I wasn’t experienced enough to teach full-time yoga (I’d only ever taught four community classes). I didn’t know how to run a business. I was working full time in a low-paying job. And just three months earlier, I was moving interstate!

Yet when that message came through, there was no doubt— I knew this was my path.

My soul knew

Just like the time, 10 years earlier, when I heard “You need to do your Reiki training” during meditation—before I had even received a Reiki healing myself.

Just like the time, 18 months earlier, when I felt a relentless pull to complete Yoga Teacher Training (honestly, I was mostly in it for the Bali retreat!).

Just like all the people, resources and opportunities that weaved through my life the previous 10 years. (There’s another blog for that one too)

I could see how all of those nudges, whispers, and divine sprinkling of breadcrumbs were guiding me toward this exact moment.

The timing made sense in ways my heart could understand—even if my logical mind couldn’t

If I’d had a partner or kids, I may not have had the courage to put them through the time and financial risk.
If I wasn’t back in the Yarra Valley, with my heart calling for yoga, Lilydale wouldn’t have even been on my radar.
If I wasn’t in a role that lacked purpose and had me looking for things to fill my day, I wouldn’t have had the capacity to build.

Everything—everything—had been preparing me for this.
Because, little did I know we were on the cusp of experiencing a global pandemic and the community was going to need this space in the years to follow.

Listening to Your Inner Voice

This journey wasn’t just about opening a yoga studio.

It was about trusting the voice within, especially when life felt like it was falling apart.
It was about letting go of who I thought I had to be, to become who I truly am.
It was about following the nudges, even when they made no sense on paper.

If you’re going through your own dark season or transition, please know this:

Your breakdown might be the beginning of your rebirth.
The whispers you hear in meditation or feel on your heart are worth listening to.
You don’t need to see the entire path ahead to take the next aligned step.